17th Self-Sovereignty Anniversary

Today is my Self-Sovereignty anniversary. Seventeen years ago on this day, January 13th, I unwittingly began on an journey that would change everything. Joseph Campbell would say that in some adventures the hero is thrust into action.  My first professional job after college had come to a dramatic conclusion. So much so that I quit and was fired all at the same time. Either way, it was a necessary change. The jolt burned the possibility of returning to an incompatible environment.

All of the training done after hours and in college gave me more confidence to make a go at becoming self employed. The events surrounding my employment activated a firm desire to take control of my life. On the heels of the 2002 New Years, I attended a forum of grounded individuals. We sat in a circle and had a beautiful conversation. I formed a clear vision for how I wanted to proceed in the new year. It brought me to the conclusion that I was not the victim of my circumstance. I had actually been as responsible for what was happening to me as those taking advantage of me. I resolved that at the next indiscretion I would walk away. Little did I know that the very next interaction would challenge my resolve. I then chose myself.

At the conclusion of the shock and emotional flailing I found a sublime state of clarity The clarity of knowing that from here on out I would be responsible for me. If I was going to go without, it would be the result of my own shortcomings and inequities. Filled or empty bank accounts would be my responsibility. I could put my present and future dreams in the hands of another to provide for me. I couldn’t resolve to hoping things would break in my favor.  I would be responsible for my wins and losses. 

I’ve come to appreciate the situation which  had thrust me into the adventure. At the age of 24, who really has all the tools that can sustain them.  Little did I know how little I knew. Ignorance and arrogance took me places and opened doors that otherwise may have taken much longer for me to dare enter.

I have found a dimension of empowering sovereignty. This journey has transformed me in ways that uniquely orients me to the world. There is no going back. It’s hard to put into words how the constraints, the challenges, the risks, and the calculations have shaped me. Being totally responsible allow me to totally commit to the process of developing myself into a more flexible and adaptable mind. The rigidity wouldn’t last. As I increase my technical abilities, business accumen, and my state of being, my confidence rose. As my confidence rose, I was able to stand in the light of who I had become without any jitters.

Each January I put my glass in the air and honor the courage of that young man. He couldn’t know what future he set in motion. I once was so engrossed in how I found my self here and failed to see the freedom of where I stood. I look at who I have become and know that this has always been within me but could it have been so readily realized along a more traditional path. Let’s also be honest. I have never represented the traditional path.

Acknowledging that we are all unique voices with distinct purposes to fulfill in this life, it make we wonder why we all go out of our way seeking mutuality with others. We is our voice important enough to listen to. Regardless, I am here. Here I am. What now matters is that with all of the live before and after that incident, how do I utilize these powerful experiences to proceed on the route toward my now held vision?